Monthly Archives: May 2011

Amar Singh’s Actual Sex Tapes

Amar: Hey sexy.

Bipasha: Hey random fellow.

Amar: Don’t act like you do not know me.

Bipasha: I don’t act anyways.

Amar: I know that is why I called you baby.

Bipasha: You sound seductive, would you want to do Dostana with me?

Amar: Can we do Sextana?

Bipasha: You are a very kinky person. So tell me when are you meeting me?

Amar: Can’t we do this on the phone only. Because I am turned on just now.

Bipasha: Ok, what are you wearing just now?

Amar: I am wearing a kurta pajama and a vest. What are you wearing?

Bipasha: I am wearing nothing.

Amar: Oh yeah that is how I like it. I like nanga women.

Bipasha: Tell me some dirty things.

Amar: Politics.

Bipasha: Oh yeah that is very dirty.

Amar: Mimoh Chakraborty.

Bipasha: You get dirtier by the minute.

Amar: Cheating on Amitabh.

Bipasha: Oh yeah that is super dir….wait what?

Amar: Come on Jaya don’t act innocent.

Bipasha: Who the hell is Jaya?

Amar: Oh so someone is into role-play and all? I like where this is going. Interrogate me more.

Bipasha: Who the hell is this?

Amar: This is Amar Singh.

Bipasha: Ok this is akward.

Amar: What happened Jaya?

Bipasha: This is Bipasha.

Amar: Uh teri Ma ki. Looks like I have dialed the wrong number again. He he.

Bipasha: Yes you creep. Oh this is very weird.

Amar: Yup.

Bipasha: So….

Amar: You want to just forget about this. Think that it never ever happened. Just some innocent mistake like Tushar Kapoors birth?

Bipasha: Yeah. I was never into balding old men anyways.

Amar: Let us just leave it at that.

Bipasha: Cool.

Amar: You still want to know what I am wearing?

 

The conversation ended here with the Emotional Atyachar team breaking down Amar Singh’s house and ensuring they get enough footage of Amitabh Bacchan slapping his boyfriend who cheated on him with many different women.The TRP ratings of that show skyrocketed after that.

The couple then made out and took turns to seduce Ajay Devgan.

 

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Sick Men are Gent-ill

My friend Clean is a semi famous football player. Born in 1990 he started his career by playing for a local club and slowly rose to fame. His arch nemesis Messi plays for Barcelona, but this tale does not concern their relationship.

This story occurred about a week ago. Clean was playing a friendly match of football with his father and brother, when he tripped his brother and smiled brutally at his fall. His father requested him to be a bit gentler and to show a little more spirit towards his fellow teammates.

At the end of the match while attempting to score an integral goal he saw his brother defending. He ran towards his brother, smiled at him and then shot him near his feet. His father started to scream and run, and Clean just gently smiled and pointed down. He said this was a result of his gentleness; this was what his father had asked him to show.

He told his father…

“Come Pa Shin”

That joke was so funny that I broke my shin ROFLing.

PS: Clean’s brother grew up and collaborated with Jackie Chan to create a show about an irritating shin.

It was known as Shin Chan.

I just lost my dignity by being part of that joke.

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